I Don’t Know

Once again, I’d neglected my blog. However, it wasn’t only my blog, I neglected pretty much all my writing platform! I even stop writing poetry! What have I become?! It just seems like I have less motivation these days. I do watch motivational clips as usual, but thats it. Just watching. No actions. Just so we’re in the same page, I’m now back in Uni. Philippines treated me well. I miss it much. Home was home, nothing change. Miss it too. Now I’m at week 3 of lecture and so far so good. I think that’s the issue, everything is so bland, it’s not exciting any longer. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m just not good at this writing thing. I don’t know.


Day (I’m not even counting anymore)

Goodness gracious it’s been so long! The last time I updated, was Day 19, now it’s already Day 34!! What?! It has been more than a month? I can’t believe myself either. Time flies by so quickly. The reason why I was not able to update daily (or sooner) was because I was really busy. Many things happened during the course of 15 days. Firstly, the Pangasinan trip for the Strong and Faithful Echo Conference weekend. I was assigned to do the playbacks. Secondly, the promotional photos and videos (teaser) for the Pluma series. I was ask to do 3 promo photos, 1 promo fb cover, 4 live update photos and 3 trailer videos. Lastly, the Baguio trip (which I’m currently at) for the same Echo Conference, but different provinces. So all these, with little bit and pieces of other stuff had made me so busy lately. I’m not complaining of course, I’m really enjoying my time here. Also, I have become closer to the people here. I feel so attached now, this could be a bad thing especially when saying goodbye. Well, that’s a long way to go, I have about 2 more months here. If it wasn’t for the language barrier, I think I’ll actually stay. I really love what they do in GMC. Their mission and vision, well OUR Mission and Vision. It really open my eyes to things I never knew I will ever come across, something I never knew existed. I don’t know if this is my calling or whatever, but I’m beginning to feel really comfortable here. Oh yes, before I forget, next week is already June! Liveloud Concert would be on the second week of June and fourth week would be CFC anniversary week!!! My goodness, busy busy. Nevertheless, I will try my best to update as frequently as I can 😉

Day 19 – Projects 

Not sure if I should feel scared or thrilled. Today I was given two projects. One was from the PROD team, they requested a teaser video for the 36th CFC Anniversary Week Celebration. Just a simple instructional video stating the activities for that week. Basically, its mostly just text and no extra shooting needed as they’re just going to use the previous years’ footage. Just simple “moving” typography (or so they said). They wanted it to be creative and attractive, which means, motion graphics (something I obviously do not know how to do!). The other project however is not far from home. My friend back in Malaysia had given me a job. It was an editing job, I had to edit an advertising video of an app (or so he said). I quickly accepted the offer without hesitation as i thought it was just editing. Alas, it wasn’t just that, it required motion graphics too, and may I just remind you I have zero knowledge on that. So right now I have two major (to me at least) projects, Teaser and Advertisement. Get this, both of them are due next week, teaser on Tuesday and Advertisement somewhere there as well. Today is Thursday, which means I just a few days to learn after effects and try my best to give a good outcome. I’m thrilled to be given this opportunity to create these projects, though at the same time, I’m scared that I’ll mess it up. Nevertheless, everything happens for a reason, I’m just hoping and praying that everything will go as planned. Thank God I have the whole weekend to do this. 
Ps: Was in the middle of doing the said projects (honestly I have not actually started, just watching “How To After Effects” Videos on YT heh) but was cut off short as the internet is not treating me well at the moment -.- Apparently, WordPress doesn’t require that much internet so here I am. Please be a sport and pray for me, thanks 😉 

Day 17/18 – Update 

I have been so busy these last few days, there was really no free time for my blog update. Even right now I have to squeeze this in my schedule. In the morning, I’ll usually go to morning mass at the church nearby the hostel. After mass, I’ll go to the GMC straight away and by the time we reach there, we have the morning praise and worship. It usually last about 30 minutes. By the time it ends, it’s time to do the “project” of the day. Some days my task was just editing videos. For those days, I’ll stay at the office getting it done. Yesterday however, I had the chance to go to another shoot. This time it was an interview shoot for Ablaze communication. They had a secret project which I’m not going to say until the release of the video. Also, I became the cameraman, well, woman. I didn’t film the whole video though, just certain scenes. Today was slightly the same except in the evening, I was invited to join a meeting for a huge event. It’s the LIVELOUD Catholic concert that would be held this June 10th. It was the tech meeting if I’m not mistaken. They discussed mostly about the video setup, colour palette, lyrics visual on screen etc. I was honestly at awe. Just imagine being in the same room with about half a dozen of really talented and creative people (in terms of designing of course) and they are all talking about this kind of design or that kind of design, the right way to portray it without getting out of context, illustrator, after effects etc, and you’re just there, wide eyed, thinking: “where have I been all this while?” At that moment I knew what my goal was. Okay, not trying to sound dramatic but they were really GOALS! I want to be like that. Plus, they were so nice too, one of them even taught me (step by step, might I add) on the ways to use illustrator. This is definitely going in my books, “Excel in illustrator and after effects”. So going back to why I have a hard time to update my blog, to keep it simple, by the time I reach home (plus, the only decent time to blog), I’m too tired and I prefer choosing sleep over anything else. 

Day 16 – New light

Okay so I might have overreacted last weekend. It could be because I was having a homesick or some sort. But anyway, all is well now. Didn’t update anything yesterday as nothing really happen. I just went to church, stroll around the neighborhood and got a good night rest. Today, however, was such a humorous day. I can’t stop myself from grinning, it’s weird. At GMC, I was given two tasks. First, I had to edit the session 3 of Family Conference and second, the session 3 of Friday Series. It was just basic offline editing though, cutting and pasting the videos for reference use. Of course I didn’t mind, at least I had something to do today. Anyway, the highlight of today was the Homily during the morning mass. The priest was telling us a story about his vocation and basically what made him, him. I can’t really say that elaborately, but I’ll try to get the gist out of it. Basically, when he wanted to be a priest, many things hindered him, one of which was his dad not agreeing on his chosen path. When he finally joined the ministry, there were also more obstacles and several times he wanted to quit. Apparently, he did quit for a moment but joined back after he knew it was his calling. Soon he was ordained and surprisingly the only one from his batch that was able to finish and become a priest. Next thing he knew, a tragic thing happened, his dad had passed away. What the priest said next literally gave me chills, “is God trying to punish me?” He was asking everyone and the hall went silent, he repeated a few times again, there were tears in his eyes and I couldn’t help myself to tear up a little. Was God punishing him though? However, the priest didn’t answer that question, instead he reminded us what the scriptures said;

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. – Matthew 16:24

I am sending you out like sheep surrounded by wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. – Matthew 10:16

This meant that when we choose to follow Him, we can’t expect there to be a red carpet to heaven or a easy way in. We can’t expect it to have no hindrance and sadness. Nothing good was ever easy. This really hit me a little, as what I was feeling just a few days before, these words of assurance from the priest, even though not directly, I felt like it was meant for me. The priest wasn’t done however, he said that it didn’t end there, just a few days ago he was deported from the country he was assigned to, and that is why he was able to celebrate mass with us today. Lesson; Everything happen for a reason, God works in mysterious ways and happiness is with Him in heaven. Nevertheless, do keep him in our prayers tonight and every other night.

Day 13/14 – Mental breakdown

I can’t do this any longer. I wasn’t able to update yesterday as I was having a mental breakdown. All of this that has been happening is really overwhelming. However, I don’t think I can continue any longer. I’m not sure how I’m suppose to express how I’m feeling and to put it to words. But I just can’t  go on with this. It wasn’t what anyone did or didn’t do. Or maybe it was? However, I just truly believe it’s just not my time. As it’s said in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 : 

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

So this is probably not my time yet. However, whenever it is, I’ll make sure it will be proper. Yesterday many things happen. I visited a Parish with Maan and Cha under the Veritas radio station for a show that’s also under CFC that I think it’s called “Premyo mo, Premyo ko”. It is where they visit parishes that are having their feast day and have some activities with the church goers there. After the event, we had some lunch and went straight back to GMC. In the evening, I joined the CLP at one of the chapel. Apparently it wasn’t as nearby as I was told. But anyway, it went well. We had a slight problem though as we had a language barrier, but I hope it wasn’t that much of a burden, in their end for that matter. 

Day 12 – Silent in the set… and ACTION!

Another eventful day I had today. I was invited to see the shooting for CFC Pluma season 2! Pluma is a documentary series where CFC members are being interviewed. Each episode shows different subject with different story to tell. Even though Pluma is under CFC, the ones who handles the shooting of video, editing etc are another third party company. This is mainly because of CFCs manpower and shooting equipment. Today they were to interview CFCs Chairman, Tito Joe Tale and his wife. I’m not going to spoil anything but the whole time during the shoot, I was secretly awe-ing and laughing. They were very humorous and their love story is just so 😍 Anyways, I’m glad I was given this opportunity because I was able to meet a bunch of cool people. What I meant is, the production crew that CFC PROD had to work with. They were apparently all young adults, some of them were even the same age as me. I asked them a few questions (or more like interrogated them) on their experience in a crew, how did they managed their team etc. Most of them started out as interns that soon became full time workers. Their project are mostly Music Videos, Ads etc. In fact, Pluma 2 was their first documentary project. They were able to score several huge deals because of their connections. This further proves that networking is very important, and not only at the entertainment industry. Also, one of their crew member was actually a lecturer or some sort. She told me the tips and tricks when filming the documentaries. Firstly, don’t rehearsed the interview. We can briefly tell the interviewee on what we’re going to ask but nothing more than that. Even though we have prepared a bunch of questions already, just use it as guidelines. This is mainly so we can see the authenticity of the video. The shooting lasted nearly 4 hours. I was so tired especially since it’s the time of the month again, but I guess it’s all worth it. Anyway, I should probably sleep now. Tomorrow would be another long day ✨

Day 11 – Blessings

Today was such a great day! I was given the chance to be a guest at the “Pamilya mo, Pamilya ko” show on the Catholic radio station called Veritas. I’m not sure if you’re able to listen to it now since it had already ended, but if you’re interested, you can hear their livestream on http://www.veritas846.ph . The “Pamilya mo, Pamilya ko” show last about 2 hours from 10am to 12noon. However, its all in Tagalog, so you might have difficulties understanding if you’re like me. When I first entered the studio, I was slightly scared at first. Mostly because the questions would be impromptu, they refuse telling me so the only I could do to prepare myself was by praying. During the radio show, they spoke Tagalog most of the time and a little bit of English when speaking to me. Nevertheless, the radio announcers were very nice and understood my struggle, I could see they tried their best to speak English. Our main discussion was about Freedom in the Catholic church; What was our views on Freedom and as a service team to the Kids For Christ and the Youth For Christ, how do we apply this. Also, they asked us how did the community change us in a spiritual way and in of course generally as a person. When the show ended, we went back to the GMC and I was then again introduce to the remaining PROD team that I haven’t met. I finally got the chance to meet the two Editors of PROD, Kuya Jamek and Kuya Je. They were friendly and we had a great conversation about their Editor role there. Basically, they would edit all the videos from the conferences that CFC have held. However, according to them, those are just simple projects as there weren’t any multiple takes and it was a single camera production. Their more tough works would be editing advert videos and (this is a huge surprise for me) Evangelium, the news channel for CFC. What a surprise right? Our community is definitely growing. Speaking about Evangelium, remember Maan? The sis I mention from Day 10? well, she’s the producer coordinator for the programme. This place gives me surprises after surprises. I have also met Kuya Val and Kuya Ranran (i think, or renren), both really creative designers. Kuya Val is under the PROD team too and apparently he designs everything you had seen in the conferences that you went. From the stage, to the backdrop, interior and exterior etc. Unlike Kuya Val, Kuya Renren works under the Ablaze Communication. He is the designer of all the Ablaze T-shirt. If you’re wearing one now, yes, he designed that. The night came, it was a disaster for me. The PROD decided to have a little “karaoke” session. They brought me along because apparently I’m part of them now (yay!). However, I’m not really a huge fan of singing, especially infront of others. Main reason was, I’m not good at singing. Get this, in their karaoke, scores are given each time you finish singing. Filipinos being Filipinos with their beautiful voices, scored 100 every single time, though there were a few 98 and 97, but never lower than that. I, who obviously would not top that off, chose the easiet song I knew, “The A Team”. Joke of the day? I scored 28!!!  You could think I’m embarrassed or ashamed or something, but surprisingly I wasn’t. I was more towards feeling bad for the others as they have to pretend my singing was good. All jokes aside, I actually had a splendid night. It was a real ice breaker for me and I was able to get to know them more, which was good since I’ll be working with them from now on.

Day 10 – Inspired

It was already 12 midnight and I was still wide awake. Funny how I planned on sleeping at 10pm at first and now, 2 hours later, I still can’t seem to fall asleep. I was sweating and my body was so sticky, that was probably why I couldn’t sleep. Still I refuse to get up and take a shower because I knew I’ll sweat all over again. The weather was just extremely hot for my body to handle. Only around 2am I was able to get some sleep, however, I knew part of me was still awake. 5.45am I woke up with the sound of my roommate waking up. It was 15 minutes before my alarm was suppose to ring. Great. I got ready, ate breakfast and headed out to my first day at the GMC (this is apparently what they called the place, I have always they called it the CFC office). It appears that every morning they actually have a morning praise and worship. I was lucky enough to reach the GMC on time to attend it. Suddenly I felt right at home, just like any other CPA, with the same songs but just different surroundings. Once again, the person who was suppose to deal on my matter wasn’t around because he is supposedly a really busy man. Thankfully, although it was in a such short notice, the PROD department decided they can “babysit” me in the meantime. So basically, what I’ve gathered today was PROD is the Production department of CFC. It consist of a creative team of 9. Each of them had their own role. I met a few of them just now and I can’t stop myself from being so inspired. Especially by the younger ones. Char, a 22 year old sis who just started working in PROD last November. She has a few roles here and there but her main role was for Pluma. Pluma is a documentary TV Series that tell stories about CFC members and their life/experience before they found CFC and when their already in the community. Although Pluma is under CFC, they still had to find a third party to film their documentaries. Basically, Char’s job was to handle this. Apart from this, she’s also involves in helping out to organise most of the events that CFC are having. Next it’s Maan, a 23 year old sis as well that started working with PROD last August. She is apparently the radio announcer for the CFC “Pamilya mo, Pamilya ko” show on a Catholic radio station in the Philippines called Veritas. Same goes to Maan, she also helps in organising CFC events. Just last week, I was mostly surrounded with young adults at their late 20s and adults that could be twice my age. So obviously I was rather not keen on this whole idea of me being there but after meeting those two youths, it really inspired and motivated me in a way. There was also a SFC bro I met who was also under the PROD. Apparently he is the team leader of the Multimedia section of the PROD department and, get this, took filming too! He was very enthusiastic, telling me about the PROD and what they do exactly. He asked me what I’m taking in university and when I told him filming and that I’m focusing more on editing, he got all excited and told me I would have tons of fun there. This actually made me happy and reassured that it was the right decision to choose this. Plus, I’m really eager to learn how they organise all the big events. Tomorrow, however, I was given the chance to go to the radio station with Maan and the day after that, a chance to follow Char to one of the Pluma shootings. I’m getting excited by just writing them down 😄

Day 9 – New Friends

Since it is Labor Day, it’s a holiday! I woke up pretty late today, nearly noon to be exact. Today’s activity wasn’t really as what many might call it “happening”. However, I did meet more of my housemate. They were really friendly and I enjoyed listening to them converse in Tagalog. However, I’m still not keen in learning it yet. Anyway, they kept trying to feed me with food, I tried declining a few times because I was seriously so full already. Plus, I didn’t want to add anymore extra kilos. However, they weren’t convinced, so the duel continued on. Out of courtesy, I soon agree to join them. Still, all of that aside, I really appreciate their friendliness and I guess it’s better than having housemates that ignores you all day and minding their own business (even though I actually kind of prefer this in a way). Maybe this was what I should learn, putting myself out there more and not becoming a self absorb person. Speaking of learning, I have learned a lot of things today while talking to the housemates. They told me about the Philippines hierarchy, the islands and basically everything I got to know about their country. Also, I actually had a great conversation with one of my roommates. She was also in training and she shared to me her experiences and how she got involved with the community. What interest me a lot was her thesis, she was doing about “Single Blessedness”, who knew there were such term right? Apparently Single Blessedness meant living an unmarried life, however not in the religious life (priest, nun etc) yet at the same time living a holy life and they have to make a vow about it. I’m not really sure, but I’ll further research on it.